He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
