just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
