I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
