i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
