I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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