I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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