I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
