stop calling my apartment porn island.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
