we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
