I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
