Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I AM VODKA MAN
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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