Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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