he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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