Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize