The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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