No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
