nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
