VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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