Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
