yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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