Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
