dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i think my cat just said my name.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
