a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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