Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
