I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
