I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Panties = found
Randomize
