It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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