It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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