Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
tell me about the fingering
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