apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
