I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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