Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
