I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
