New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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