There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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