a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
