i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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