He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I want a musical about memes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
