I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
