So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
