She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My feet surprised me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
