I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so explain again why im purple
no
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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