There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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