I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
