Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
