Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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