my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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