Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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