I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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