So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
