I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
