seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
